I’ve been trying to really focus lately on helping Dan with life skills. It’s something that many of us so-called “neuro-typicals” take for granted. I mean, how hard is it to fold clothes, make a simple meal, or handle some phone calls for appointments, etc.? I’m here to tell you it doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Something as natural as eye contact can be a challenge.

Maybe I should be focusing on doing laundry with him right now, or whipping up an easy meal. But I’m not. We are working on having friends. We are working on looking people in the eye, even for 1-2 seconds at a time. We are working on asking people about THEM. Not interjecting facts about the Titanic and the number of electoral votes each state gets. It’s about taking that first step to send a text and to actually respond when you finally get one from someone else.

I’m a social gal. I thrive and have always thrived on social connections. I love friends. There’s something magical and heartwarming to have “old” friends that have been with you through so many of life’s seasons. We’ve seen each other sporting bad perms, awful hair styles and hilarious fashion trends. We’ve kept in touch and connected during the pre-social media era. We passed notes in class, gave each other rides in our ugly cars that didn’t have a single bell or whistle.

I would have never survived college, nursing school, any of my jobs….without my friends. Old friends, new friends. They had/have my back. I had/have theirs. I wouldn’t have survived the challenges I have had as a parent, a daughter, a wife without my friends. Norb and I often sit around a kitchen table or any type of social setting with a group of friends we view as family. Sometimes my heart feels overwhelmed with gratitude, as they have such an important role in our lives. That is the connection I want for my son. I want him to experience that sense of camaraderie.

So today, we are reaching out. We are going to practice sending texts and actually responding. I will probably have him actually CALL someone and talk for a few minutes (okay, thirty seconds to a minute may be more realistic, but we need to start somewhere.)

And last but not least…..my heart will forever be grateful to Lauren, who has taken on Dan as a brother and friend and showed him love and friendship that money could never buy.

And may I ask…if you see someone that struggles socially. Pay your good social fortune forward and give them a smile, ask a question, make a connection.