“Neurodivergent.” Do you know what that means? Please, let me tell you. According to Oxford Dictionaries, “differing in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal (frequently used with reference to autistic spectrum disorders); not neurotypical.” Neurodivergent people have brains that work according to a different operating system, not a defective one. And trying to “fix” or “change” these individuals is damaging and cruel, in my opinion. According to educational material I have obtained through the Cleveland Clinic, neurodiversity refers to the way a person’s brain develops. It is not preventable, treatable or curable. It IS, however, manageable in most cases.

Individuals that do not have symptoms or issues that interfere with their social abilities, thought patterns and/or behaviors are most likely labeled as “neurotypical.” If that describes you, congratulations! But you know what? I bet you’re really not “normal” either. Because who knows what “normal” is. Is there such a thing?

My husband and I have the pleasure of raising our son that is neurodivergent (Autistic Spectrum.) He is not wired to give you eye contact, he thinks it is creepy and he hates it. He reserves smiles for very special occasions. He has no filter in social situations and will ask you your weight and promptly figure out your BMI (body mass index.) Of course we have discussed the inappropriateness of this and that you will never have women as friends if you quiz them on their weight. It’s an obsessive thought he has. And obsessive thoughts don’t go away quietly. He will let you know when you have overstayed your welcome. He will move around and jump and swing his arms when you think he shouldn’t. The repetitive motion soothes him and likely doesn’t harm you in any way. Annoy you? Maybe. But chances are good you might have some annoying habits, too.

He will randomly ask if he can dump pop on your head. Or sit on the hood of your brand new car. Would he do these things? No. Does he thrive on your reaction? Absolutely.

He can talk to you for hours about WWII, The Civil War, The War of 1812, The Titanic, The Bismarck battleship, The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. He can point to any country, no matter how small, on a world map with absolutely no hesitation. He can throw a 1000 piece puzzle together in no time and remember details of events that would absolutely astound you. His brain is a sponge for knowledge. Tying shoes or remembering to zip up zippers is another story.

And there’s always advice from people on the sidelines. The peanut gallery. Those who haven’t lived a day as or with the neurodivergent.” “Shouldn’t he be driving?” (Do you want someone that struggles with constant thought distractions behind the wheel, simply because he’s old enough?) “Why don’t you have him get a job at McDonald’s? (Hmmmm….perfect place for a guy with a weight obsession. No ma’am, you shouldn’t get that Big Mac. I bet your BMI is already around 35.) “Shouldn’t he be taking more than two college classes at a time?” Well, if that was possible for him, he would.

Forcing people to adapt to our thought processes is unreasonable. And you know what? Many people that have made big, positive impacts in our society have been said to be neurodivergent. (Thomas Jefferson, Emily Dickinson, Bill Gates, Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, Andy Warhol, only to name a few.)

Our world NEEDS neurodivergent people. We need to embrace them, encourage them, love them. Accept them. I promise you, they are wired this way for a reason. They can add such lightheartedness, humor and interesting information to your life.

Do I think about the future? Of course. Don’t you? Do I worry about my son’s future successes in life. Um, yeah. I bet you worry about your neurotypical kids’ future, too. Do I do my best to give him the tools and help and advice to get through life? Yes. But the drum he beats to is his own. I don’t get to choose. Nor do I want to. For now, we take our white bucket to the beach (the white one, it’s sturdy and doesn’t have words on it, words on a bucket are distracting.) We pick through rocks and fossils. We laugh and love the intricacies of nature. It’s perfect in its imperfectness.

Every day we strive to learn more, understand more and embrace each other more. Because we are all who we are for a divine reason.