I don’t usually expose a lot of Dan’s traits in writing. It’s his story. I just happen to be his mom. Lucky and blessed to be his mom, rather. He’s been “quirky” since early on. Noises bothered him, different textures annoyed him, obsessive thoughts consumed him (and us.) I knew he was on the autistic spectrum before I really even knew much about “the spectrum.”  It’s taken years for me to really grasp that it’s not the Plague. It’s a different operating system for the brain.  Vacations have always been a bit stressful. No, A LOT stressful. He had to know exactly where we were going. Constantly worried about where the gauge was on the fuel indicator. “Those are driver worries, not passenger worries” I’d tell him. Not that it would help. “Do you know where we are going? What if we get lost? Do you have a map? Please don’t tell me you’ve never been here before.” These weren’t fleeting thoughts, they were gut-wrenching, fear-driven concerns. Dogs. Terrified of dogs. We couldn’t walk past …

I was going to be a writer, you know. I studied Journalism in college. I also had aspirations to own a Bed and Breakfast. I yearned to own a cookie shop. I also thought (still think) I’d make a great detective. No one would like to solve a murder more than me. And you want to know if your significant other is cheating? I could find out. I have skills. I also dabbled with photography but decided I didn’t want to turn a hobby into a job, because, well……then it’s not a hobby. It’s a job. Now I have dreams of being a barista. LOL. Let’s face it. I’ve spent my entire 27 year career dreaming of being something other than what I am. A nurse. I mean, really….it’s nothing like they portray on T.V. There’s not one glamorous thing about this gig. And it’s certainly not about the money, because, well—-you know. Today I got to lead by example to a young nurse. Actually, they all seem young these days. They can whip through …

“How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat yer meat?” Dan, sitting in the car next to me, belting out his least favorite song lyrics. “Pink Floyd songs creep me out.” I glance at him, headphones resting around his neck, giving him the ability to immediately tune out the world (specifically me) if he feels the need. I think of the many times we’ve listened to music together over the years. It’s something that has connected us on both fun and meaningful levels. We love music. We share similar taste in music. We can disconnect from our worries, as we recognize that we both battle anxiety and share a tendency to worry excessively about things out of our control. Starting when was just a little boy, he found great comfort in music. We would jump in the car on a moments notice and take rides, sometimes as far as Mackinaw City, listening to “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald” on repeat. I cherish those days. My eyes well up with tears as I …

It’s been a while since we went to have lunch with Norb’s mom. We walked into her home filled with the smell of turkey and homemade gravy, to find her buzzing around, apron on. Her typical meal of meat, potatoes, cooked carrots and cucumbers making their way to the properly set table. Fruit with pudding for dessert. You always end a meal with a little something sweet, you know. I don’t visit her as often as I probably should, especially since she lives just a few miles away. I will probably regret it one day. She’s 88 and as active as ever. Still makes three meals a day and does all her own housework, gets together with friends and plays board games, cards and avidly reads. “I gotta keep my mind sharp.” We are so very different. We come from different times and different backgrounds. Her upbringing in Germany during WWII was so much different than mine here in the privileged USA. She knows what it’s like to lose everything. Family, friends, money, food, everything. …

Another Hallmark holiday in the books. You either love it or hate it. But I think it’s a great time to reflect on those that we love. Besides, who doesn’t want to break up the dead of winter with roses and hearts in various shades of reds and pinks?? Norb and I exchanged cards and he spent the morning doing snow clean up outside for us and our neighbors. I took him some fresh coffee in this precious heart cup, just to go with the theme of the day. This afternoon, we had our dear friends over and shared snacks and drinks. And lots of laughs. It’s a great reminder to love and cherish the people in your life that bring you joy and happiness. After all, they are just on loan to us for a time. Life is short….fuss over people. And always fuss over yourself!!!

Welcome to my blog! I am super excited to be using this format as a creative outlet. I look forward to connecting with others and sharing thoughts, ideas, photos, food obsessions, decorating ideas, and just random stuff.