It’s been a while since we went to have lunch with Norb’s mom. We walked into her home filled with the smell of turkey and homemade gravy, to find her buzzing around, apron on. Her typical meal of meat, potatoes, cooked carrots and cucumbers making their way to the properly set table. Fruit with pudding for dessert. You always end a meal with a little something sweet, you know.

I don’t visit her as often as I probably should, especially since she lives just a few miles away. I will probably regret it one day. She’s 88 and as active as ever. Still makes three meals a day and does all her own housework, gets together with friends and plays board games, cards and avidly reads. “I gotta keep my mind sharp.”

We are so very different. We come from different times and different backgrounds. Her upbringing in Germany during WWII was so much different than mine here in the privileged USA. She knows what it’s like to lose everything. Family, friends, money, food, everything. She knows how to stretch a dime further than anyone I know. She can make a meal from the fewest, simplest ingredients. And make clothes from a spool of thread and apiece of fabric.

She will save most of her money but never let anyone go hungry or without something they need. Her home is simple. She doesn’t decorate to impress, she simply puts out things she likes and has things that are functional, not beautiful. She never replaces something just to replace it. She could shop from fine stores, but chooses to shop at second hand shops. She lit up when she proudly revealed to me the purchase she recently splurged on. A pound of ground coffee. “Fancy” coffee, she told me. It even has her beloved home of Germany on the label. She paid 5 bucks for it. And not only that, “I bought 5 of them!!” “Three for me and two for gifts.”

Her life story is so interesting. She has every reason to have lost faith in humanity and this crazy world we are living in. But she hasn’t. It’s only made her stronger. Aside from the fact that our lifestyles, budgeting and parenting are vastly different. We share a deep love for her oldest son and her only grandson. And though I know I wouldn’t be her first choice for a daughter-in-law. I do know she loves me. And I love her.

As we leave to head home, Norb kisses his mom and thanks her for the lovely lunch. He winks at me, knowing that is the only “real” meal he’s getting today. I peck her on the cheek and tell her I’m going home to plan the dinner menu for tonite. “Oh???” She says. “Yep, I’m thinking a choice of Cheerios, Rice Chex, or Corn flakes. Maybe a banana to mix in.” She grinned and said, “Cereal is just enough. And you shouldn’t eat after 7 pm, it makes your belly fat.”